He was...well,...not my first but my TRUE LOVE which i loved with all my heart and soul and i swear i could've done anything for him if he ever asked though of cos he did not. So when we broke up, days were like hell to me and i just didn't think i believe in true love anymore. I mean...he was the one guy who changed my view on relationships and all so...yeah. And after a while of going into that terrible i-don't-wanna-see-anyone-in-this-world state, i pretty much decided that maybe...just maybe...instead of sitting there all day getting more and more emotional about it, i should start doing something to move on and get over it like what all my friends say. But i didn't know what to do so i got myself into more relationships thinking i'll get over him. But the thing was, with each new relationship, the feeling just got worst and i got more and more confused. And it never felt the same as i was with him.

So now that my dream has come true and that we're back together, i should be feeling awesome! Like i was on cloud 9 or something right? But thats not how i feel at all. Nothing seems to make sense anymore. And i don't even know who to turn to anymore cause my parents...well...i don't wanna talk about them.

I just hope God would be merciful enough to show me some path out of this shit that i'm in.