For all those people out there, I hope you know this but in case you don't, well, let me tell you what. This is my blog so i have every right to write anything i want in it. It really is none of your buisness what i post on my blog! Seriously speaking, you guys don't even know anything and its not like i'm writing anything bad behind your back or anything which in my opinion some of you do and which i feel is so hypocritical of you.At least i'm not as hgypocritical as you and i'm assuming you know who i'm refering to!
And for god sake i do not need you telling me what i can or cannot write in my blog! Even if i were to post nude photos, thats my problem. Theres no need for you to tell me what to do cause you have no right to do that!!!
And excuse you?! I'm just stating the facts cause thats what colleen told me ok! This is not even my own interpretation of the situation for your infor! Its just that rina and i had a quarrel and colleen happen to tell me that she quarreled with someone from the class and i guessed it was germaine. Thats all. Oh yeah and by the way, whats all this got to do with you? yeah its true i don't know what happen but did you hear me saying anything bad?! All i said was that colleen and germaine had a dispute and its true isn't it? Or is your english that bad that you don't even understand whats the meaning of dispute?
Well, let me tell you what dispute means then! By definition, it means a quarrel between two people. And did they not quarrel? So all i said was for colleen to cheer up so what has it got to do with you anyway?
Its between germaine and colleen so leave me out of it for god sake! I don't know what happen and neither do i need to know or wish to know. What happen between you guys has seriously got nothing to do with me so please just shut it all out!!!
It was a totally cool day today cause i didn't have to go to work today. So guess what? Mummy and i took out that soya bean drink machine and made our own soya bean drink! Cool right. Then we took the soya bean ''zha'' and use it to make biscuits using our own recipe of course and surprisingly, it turn out really well. Just that it wasn't as sweet as i had hoped. But thats fine cause the biscuit tasted really well still. And yeah, i guess i stuffed myself up again today.
But it was reeeeeeeeeeeaaallllllllyyyyyyyy great!!! And mummy and i did enjoy our time today doing something out of nothing. Haahahahahahaha...
I've been trying so hard to stay up and study late for the past one week or so but it always fail. I mean i use to be able to do it in the past of course with a cup of coffee(added with additional sugar and milk). But lately, i always ended up falling asleep on the table after 2 hours or so.And this has been freaking me out cause just counting the days....i'm left with not much time to study before the exams! And even with a cup of coffee, it just doesn't help anymore. Maybe i should just stop hanging out with my friends altoghether cause maybe thats the reason why i'm always feeling so tired at the end of the day.
Like what my mum told me, this year is a very important year for me. Cause it determines my future and whether i'll reach my dream of becoming a doctor when i grow up.
Oh right. Maybe i should just stop my nonsence and just concentrate on my studies cause its all abt getting a good certificate in order to survive in this world.
Anyway, things were pretty alright today and thanks a lot colleen! Thanks for cheering me up! I feel so much better now sought of like a grey cloud just lifted or something you know. Haha...anyway, i found out that rina wasn't angry anymore. According to what she told me but i'm not too sure if its true. It might be true and on the other hand, it might not be. But it doesn't really matter anymore cause i don't need to know and neither do i wish to know.
Seems like the fishes that mummy and i are feeding are having a little skin problem or something. Yeah...they told us that it was anchor worms but i'm not too sure if it is or not ...after you know...checking the web. It seems like anchor worms are some wrigley red ''worms'' which are not really worms that hang onto the fishes fin end. But thats not whats happening so i guess these so called experts don't know abt anymore better than we do.
And that guy...or girl by the name of Nick(it could be a girl trying to act like a boy, or a boy trying to act like a girl for all you know)..yeah..the medicine that he recommended doesn't even seem to be working at all! I wonder if he really know what hes doing or if hes just trying to act like he does...being a sales man himself you know.
Anyway, i'm still clueless about the disease that some of our fishes are suffering from. And then theres this particular fish whose eyes are like bulging out and there seem to be something thats covering his eyes. Oh my gosh...hes probably feeling so uncomfortable. But still, theres nothing i can do for him. Well, i wish i knew what to do but i don't.
And it seems like Germaine and colleen had a dispute among them. No wonder they won't sitting with each other during maths lesson. Anyway, colleen cheer up and although i'm not too sure what happen, i hope both of you make up soon alright?
Let everything go back to the way it was meant to........
Monday, June 15, 2009
It was a tiring day today and I feel really down. I finally realise that you can never rely on a friend no matter what happen. Cause friends will never be with you for ever. When they have new friends, they'll totally ignore you leaving you feeling like an idiot when you try to be with them. I don't know but seriously, thats how i feel.I just feel so out of place and seriously speaking, i'm sick of such people!
Like what wei long said, these people are just hypocrites! They have no friends and the only reason why they even stick with you is because they don't wish to be alone, or be left out. You really feel terrible when you find out the reason behind their every action. If only everyone would just show their true self and not be such hypocrites! It really hurts when you find out that the person whom you have always thought of as a friend would do such things to you.
But thats fine..at least it has thought me to treasure the time i have with my mum as shes the only one who'll always be with me no matter what happens to me. She's the only one i would and could ever rely on for help. Cause i know that one day, if i were to turn blind or meet with an accident and break my legs, the only person who'll always be there to look after me and care for me would be my mum and no one else.
Thats true isn't it? For these 16 years of my life, i've been trying so hard to trust the ones around me but it seem really hard to do that anymore! I would have been the real blunderbuss if i even try to trust anyone anymore! Its just not worth my time doing these things.
I really felt so hurt and i even cried when i saw what rina said to me on her blog. I thought she was a friend but it turns out that all the while, i was the only one who thought this way. So everyone was just putting on an act when they talked to me right? So this is the real them! So its true what sharen told me after all. Cause there was one point in time when i seem to suddenly doubt if they just befriended me because of the food or if it was really acceptance. Seems like it was all an act. I even thought i could finally put down my fear and learn to trust people and now, this is what i get for trying to be nice.
Its all a waste of time trying to be nice to them. Like i would even want to befriend them anymore. Like what i say, i'm so sick of people like them! I don't even want to talk to them anymore! I would rather be by myself. Afterall, you never know if these people ever mean what they say. They may be nice to you in front but that may not be the case when you're not around. They could be gossiping about you when you're unaware. Yeah...thats true! This was not what i thought of them or even wanted to think of them when they talked to me but this is exactly how i feel right now. Thanks to these group of so called friends of mine.
I don't even know why god even created me when this is how life is. No one ever bothered about how i felt deep inside me. They just simply assume that everything was alright and i was as happy as i look on the surface. Isn't that true? Well, its good they don't know me well cause i wouldn't dae say anything bad might not happen if they do.
So what i've learn from these people is that its never good to trust people easily.
It was an alright day today. Mummy and i went and visited the terrace house we lived in in the past. The house that held so much memory for mummy and me. It has really changed a lot and the houses are all rebuilt and newly painted. It's nice to know that the house we used to live in in the past has been bought over by a really nice family. Then we went to Pek kio market to see the changes........if there is any. And there was a lot of changes apparently. Originally, we wanted to have our breakfast there but the queus were super long and in fact...i actually queued for the prawn noodle for almost 30 mins and the queue was still not moving at all. And only to find out later that all those who didn't wanna queue simply went to the front and order their food directly from the cook! Oh my gosh! I almost burst my top! Anyway, my mum and i ended up only drinking a cup of coffee which obviously tasted so bitter and the toasted bread. But that was fine. Then we went home cause mummy wanted to take her wallet and i wanted to buy flowers for grandma and grandpa when we visit them later. I really miss them a lot and i realy wished they were with us now. Seriously. Sometimes i just don't understand why god has to take them away from me when i still have not really spent my time and love with them. If only they could have live a little longer it doesn't have to be long...just a few minutes for me to take a look at them would be enough...snifffff.
Then later we went to thomson plaza to eat and to buy some groceries before going home at 2 pm. It was quite an alright day after all and we did spent a bit more then usual though.
After visiting my grandparents, mummy and i went and bought the medicine that we need to cure the few sick fishes we have. And the person who serve us was a guy. Imagine! I didn't even realise he was a guy!While he was talikng to my mum, i was actually trying to figure out if he was a guy or a girl. Until he finally ave my mum his name card and my mum ask him for his name. He said he was Nick and suddenly, a light bulb appeared in my head and i realise he was actually a guy. But he was really cute and look like a 18 yr old boy.
Anyway, thats about all . yeah...i bought a new water bottle and a cheese cake which turn out not to taste like cheese cake at all but was quite nice and i shared it with mummy and the maid and our rooster bob. smilllllleeeeezz ^^
Went to work today and it was kinda fun except for the part where i had to do fries for approximately 2 1/2 hours. It was damn hot and plus the heat from the lights i guess i almost scorched my hand...alright, its not as bad as i have put it. But seriously, it was hot. Yeah...but i guess thats how working life is supposed to be and if i can't even take this then how am i suppose to be able to survive the working life next time right? .......sigh.....i don't know if this is good or bad..but seems like a lot of things are happening to my friends and i lately and its not anything good at all. In fact, i'm starting to feel so left out and lonely lately. Today wei long sought of scolded felix and reena and reena cried! That was the first time i've seen her cry and i was not feeling great at all so i asked her what happened but she refused to tell me and i had to ask wei long personally.
Apparently, according to wei long, felix was just taking one order and talking for the rest and there were a queue of people in front of him waiting to be served. Yeah i agree with him that that wasn't very fair to him wen felix did that and leave the rest of the customers to him to serve.
But it wasn't all that nice of wei long to scold them in front of everyone too right? I mean...ok! Put yourself in their position and imagine how ambarrased and hurt you would have felt. Its not a nice feeling at all so i don't suppose that was the only way he could have solve the problem right?
I don't know...but anyway, yu xuan extended me to 8 and by the time i ended, i was really tired so i went to buy a few packets of biscuits for my mum and the maid before i went home.
Went home and sharedmy dinner with bob the rooster i have at home. Cause he seem to really like the fish so i gave him all of it.Cause he didn't have anything nice to eat lately so i shared them all with him. Then went and studied till the early hours of the morning before going to bed at 3 plus. And thats about how my day went.
Its been a long time and lots of things has happen.Sadly, i've also done a lot of things..stupid things to put it. And i've come to realise that i should never trust anyone easily...no matter how close i am to the person. Its true! Cause i don't ever want to get hurt ever again.....because somewhere deep within me...i seem to feel really painful..... like someone just stab me with a knife. Yeah..that feeling. Especially when i found out something that i really don't want to ever happen to me.It might not mean anything to them or to anyone. But i felt it and at this moment i suddenly doubted..about everything that exist or use to exist. Its not a great feeling to be betrayed if thats how its used.I don't know what to say anymore..i don't even know if i've been enjoying my life anymore. But one things for sure..no ones ever gonna understand me anymore.And no one will...cause things are gonna be very different from today onwards. And people force me to...i too wish it would never happen but since things has already reach this state then let it be. Yeah...maybe it'll be better if everything just return to the way it was meant to be...yeah...maybe..
Mummyyy!!! Why was i born into this world? Could you tell me why? I didn't ask anyone to give birth to me at all so why? Mummy, i really wish you know how i feel seriously. Why do people always have to pretend to like me when they don't? Why do they always have to do things and say things that hurt me so much? I tried so hard to be nice to people and not try to hurt them by what i say like what you have always taught me but why do things always go the way i don't want them to? MUMMY!!! It took me so long to gain the courage to trust people again and now i finally realise that i shouldn't have cause mummyyyy!!! I always get hurt when i try to! I wish i could live my lifeall over again or better just disappear into nothing. Mummy! Why did god make me into this world? A place where i don't belong, where i feel so out of place? I would have felt better if everything hasn't been this way.......
For all those people out there, I hope you know this but in case you don't, well, let me tell you what. This is my blog so i have every right to write anything i want in it. It really is none of your buisness what i post on my blog! Seriously speaking, you guys don't even know anything and its not like i'm writing anything bad behind your back or anything which in my opinion some of you do and which i feel is so hypocritical of you.At least i'm not as hgypocritical as you and i'm assuming you know who i'm refering to!
And for god sake i do not need you telling me what i can or cannot write in my blog! Even if i were to post nude photos, thats my problem. Theres no need for you to tell me what to do cause you have no right to do that!!!
And excuse you?! I'm just stating the facts cause thats what colleen told me ok! This is not even my own interpretation of the situation for your infor! Its just that rina and i had a quarrel and colleen happen to tell me that she quarreled with someone from the class and i guessed it was germaine. Thats all. Oh yeah and by the way, whats all this got to do with you? yeah its true i don't know what happen but did you hear me saying anything bad?! All i said was that colleen and germaine had a dispute and its true isn't it? Or is your english that bad that you don't even understand whats the meaning of dispute?
Well, let me tell you what dispute means then! By definition, it means a quarrel between two people. And did they not quarrel? So all i said was for colleen to cheer up so what has it got to do with you anyway?
Its between germaine and colleen so leave me out of it for god sake! I don't know what happen and neither do i need to know or wish to know. What happen between you guys has seriously got nothing to do with me so please just shut it all out!!!
It was a totally cool day today cause i didn't have to go to work today. So guess what? Mummy and i took out that soya bean drink machine and made our own soya bean drink! Cool right. Then we took the soya bean ''zha'' and use it to make biscuits using our own recipe of course and surprisingly, it turn out really well. Just that it wasn't as sweet as i had hoped. But thats fine cause the biscuit tasted really well still. And yeah, i guess i stuffed myself up again today.
But it was reeeeeeeeeeeaaallllllllyyyyyyyy great!!! And mummy and i did enjoy our time today doing something out of nothing. Haahahahahahaha...
I've been trying so hard to stay up and study late for the past one week or so but it always fail. I mean i use to be able to do it in the past of course with a cup of coffee(added with additional sugar and milk). But lately, i always ended up falling asleep on the table after 2 hours or so.And this has been freaking me out cause just counting the days....i'm left with not much time to study before the exams! And even with a cup of coffee, it just doesn't help anymore. Maybe i should just stop hanging out with my friends altoghether cause maybe thats the reason why i'm always feeling so tired at the end of the day.
Like what my mum told me, this year is a very important year for me. Cause it determines my future and whether i'll reach my dream of becoming a doctor when i grow up.
Oh right. Maybe i should just stop my nonsence and just concentrate on my studies cause its all abt getting a good certificate in order to survive in this world.
Anyway, things were pretty alright today and thanks a lot colleen! Thanks for cheering me up! I feel so much better now sought of like a grey cloud just lifted or something you know. Haha...anyway, i found out that rina wasn't angry anymore. According to what she told me but i'm not too sure if its true. It might be true and on the other hand, it might not be. But it doesn't really matter anymore cause i don't need to know and neither do i wish to know.
Seems like the fishes that mummy and i are feeding are having a little skin problem or something. Yeah...they told us that it was anchor worms but i'm not too sure if it is or not ...after you know...checking the web. It seems like anchor worms are some wrigley red ''worms'' which are not really worms that hang onto the fishes fin end. But thats not whats happening so i guess these so called experts don't know abt anymore better than we do.
And that guy...or girl by the name of Nick(it could be a girl trying to act like a boy, or a boy trying to act like a girl for all you know)..yeah..the medicine that he recommended doesn't even seem to be working at all! I wonder if he really know what hes doing or if hes just trying to act like he does...being a sales man himself you know.
Anyway, i'm still clueless about the disease that some of our fishes are suffering from. And then theres this particular fish whose eyes are like bulging out and there seem to be something thats covering his eyes. Oh my gosh...hes probably feeling so uncomfortable. But still, theres nothing i can do for him. Well, i wish i knew what to do but i don't.
And it seems like Germaine and colleen had a dispute among them. No wonder they won't sitting with each other during maths lesson. Anyway, colleen cheer up and although i'm not too sure what happen, i hope both of you make up soon alright?
Let everything go back to the way it was meant to........
Monday, June 15, 2009
It was a tiring day today and I feel really down. I finally realise that you can never rely on a friend no matter what happen. Cause friends will never be with you for ever. When they have new friends, they'll totally ignore you leaving you feeling like an idiot when you try to be with them. I don't know but seriously, thats how i feel.I just feel so out of place and seriously speaking, i'm sick of such people!
Like what wei long said, these people are just hypocrites! They have no friends and the only reason why they even stick with you is because they don't wish to be alone, or be left out. You really feel terrible when you find out the reason behind their every action. If only everyone would just show their true self and not be such hypocrites! It really hurts when you find out that the person whom you have always thought of as a friend would do such things to you.
But thats fine..at least it has thought me to treasure the time i have with my mum as shes the only one who'll always be with me no matter what happens to me. She's the only one i would and could ever rely on for help. Cause i know that one day, if i were to turn blind or meet with an accident and break my legs, the only person who'll always be there to look after me and care for me would be my mum and no one else.
Thats true isn't it? For these 16 years of my life, i've been trying so hard to trust the ones around me but it seem really hard to do that anymore! I would have been the real blunderbuss if i even try to trust anyone anymore! Its just not worth my time doing these things.
I really felt so hurt and i even cried when i saw what rina said to me on her blog. I thought she was a friend but it turns out that all the while, i was the only one who thought this way. So everyone was just putting on an act when they talked to me right? So this is the real them! So its true what sharen told me after all. Cause there was one point in time when i seem to suddenly doubt if they just befriended me because of the food or if it was really acceptance. Seems like it was all an act. I even thought i could finally put down my fear and learn to trust people and now, this is what i get for trying to be nice.
Its all a waste of time trying to be nice to them. Like i would even want to befriend them anymore. Like what i say, i'm so sick of people like them! I don't even want to talk to them anymore! I would rather be by myself. Afterall, you never know if these people ever mean what they say. They may be nice to you in front but that may not be the case when you're not around. They could be gossiping about you when you're unaware. Yeah...thats true! This was not what i thought of them or even wanted to think of them when they talked to me but this is exactly how i feel right now. Thanks to these group of so called friends of mine.
I don't even know why god even created me when this is how life is. No one ever bothered about how i felt deep inside me. They just simply assume that everything was alright and i was as happy as i look on the surface. Isn't that true? Well, its good they don't know me well cause i wouldn't dae say anything bad might not happen if they do.
So what i've learn from these people is that its never good to trust people easily.
It was an alright day today. Mummy and i went and visited the terrace house we lived in in the past. The house that held so much memory for mummy and me. It has really changed a lot and the houses are all rebuilt and newly painted. It's nice to know that the house we used to live in in the past has been bought over by a really nice family. Then we went to Pek kio market to see the changes........if there is any. And there was a lot of changes apparently. Originally, we wanted to have our breakfast there but the queus were super long and in fact...i actually queued for the prawn noodle for almost 30 mins and the queue was still not moving at all. And only to find out later that all those who didn't wanna queue simply went to the front and order their food directly from the cook! Oh my gosh! I almost burst my top! Anyway, my mum and i ended up only drinking a cup of coffee which obviously tasted so bitter and the toasted bread. But that was fine. Then we went home cause mummy wanted to take her wallet and i wanted to buy flowers for grandma and grandpa when we visit them later. I really miss them a lot and i realy wished they were with us now. Seriously. Sometimes i just don't understand why god has to take them away from me when i still have not really spent my time and love with them. If only they could have live a little longer it doesn't have to be long...just a few minutes for me to take a look at them would be enough...snifffff.
Then later we went to thomson plaza to eat and to buy some groceries before going home at 2 pm. It was quite an alright day after all and we did spent a bit more then usual though.
After visiting my grandparents, mummy and i went and bought the medicine that we need to cure the few sick fishes we have. And the person who serve us was a guy. Imagine! I didn't even realise he was a guy!While he was talikng to my mum, i was actually trying to figure out if he was a guy or a girl. Until he finally ave my mum his name card and my mum ask him for his name. He said he was Nick and suddenly, a light bulb appeared in my head and i realise he was actually a guy. But he was really cute and look like a 18 yr old boy.
Anyway, thats about all . yeah...i bought a new water bottle and a cheese cake which turn out not to taste like cheese cake at all but was quite nice and i shared it with mummy and the maid and our rooster bob. smilllllleeeeezz ^^
Went to work today and it was kinda fun except for the part where i had to do fries for approximately 2 1/2 hours. It was damn hot and plus the heat from the lights i guess i almost scorched my hand...alright, its not as bad as i have put it. But seriously, it was hot. Yeah...but i guess thats how working life is supposed to be and if i can't even take this then how am i suppose to be able to survive the working life next time right? .......sigh.....i don't know if this is good or bad..but seems like a lot of things are happening to my friends and i lately and its not anything good at all. In fact, i'm starting to feel so left out and lonely lately. Today wei long sought of scolded felix and reena and reena cried! That was the first time i've seen her cry and i was not feeling great at all so i asked her what happened but she refused to tell me and i had to ask wei long personally.
Apparently, according to wei long, felix was just taking one order and talking for the rest and there were a queue of people in front of him waiting to be served. Yeah i agree with him that that wasn't very fair to him wen felix did that and leave the rest of the customers to him to serve.
But it wasn't all that nice of wei long to scold them in front of everyone too right? I mean...ok! Put yourself in their position and imagine how ambarrased and hurt you would have felt. Its not a nice feeling at all so i don't suppose that was the only way he could have solve the problem right?
I don't know...but anyway, yu xuan extended me to 8 and by the time i ended, i was really tired so i went to buy a few packets of biscuits for my mum and the maid before i went home.
Went home and sharedmy dinner with bob the rooster i have at home. Cause he seem to really like the fish so i gave him all of it.Cause he didn't have anything nice to eat lately so i shared them all with him. Then went and studied till the early hours of the morning before going to bed at 3 plus. And thats about how my day went.
Its been a long time and lots of things has happen.Sadly, i've also done a lot of things..stupid things to put it. And i've come to realise that i should never trust anyone easily...no matter how close i am to the person. Its true! Cause i don't ever want to get hurt ever again.....because somewhere deep within me...i seem to feel really painful..... like someone just stab me with a knife. Yeah..that feeling. Especially when i found out something that i really don't want to ever happen to me.It might not mean anything to them or to anyone. But i felt it and at this moment i suddenly doubted..about everything that exist or use to exist. Its not a great feeling to be betrayed if thats how its used.I don't know what to say anymore..i don't even know if i've been enjoying my life anymore. But one things for sure..no ones ever gonna understand me anymore.And no one will...cause things are gonna be very different from today onwards. And people force me to...i too wish it would never happen but since things has already reach this state then let it be. Yeah...maybe it'll be better if everything just return to the way it was meant to be...yeah...maybe..
Mummyyy!!! Why was i born into this world? Could you tell me why? I didn't ask anyone to give birth to me at all so why? Mummy, i really wish you know how i feel seriously. Why do people always have to pretend to like me when they don't? Why do they always have to do things and say things that hurt me so much? I tried so hard to be nice to people and not try to hurt them by what i say like what you have always taught me but why do things always go the way i don't want them to? MUMMY!!! It took me so long to gain the courage to trust people again and now i finally realise that i shouldn't have cause mummyyyy!!! I always get hurt when i try to! I wish i could live my lifeall over again or better just disappear into nothing. Mummy! Why did god make me into this world? A place where i don't belong, where i feel so out of place? I would have felt better if everything hasn't been this way.......
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` Study overseas at
Prinston university
` Become Doctor,Lawyer... ` Buy a big house for my mum ` Save as many animals in this world ` Travel all round the world ` Try out all the diff. kinds of in this world ` Buy a red sports car ` Go to the highest mountain in world to STARGAZE!!! ` Tell my mum how much i luv her ` Fill up my whole wardrobe with everything that i like ` Have fun all my life.....
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` White chocolate ` Stargazing ` Good grades Piggs(they're cute) Singing Dancing talking and talking about nothings have fun every minute,every second of my life Loves Animals Smiling and laughing like crazy Make new friends Doing crazy things..just for fun
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