Haven't been blogging for so long but...i just feel like doing it tonight. Because i'm feeling extremely down. I mean...things are going pretty alright (i hope) in my life. But..it just dawned on me tonight that...in the mist of life and friends, i'm starting to become a stranger to myself. Working in a hostel, getting to know a lot more people different people i mean..out there's pretty cool and all if u know what i mean. But..i don't know. I just don't know..I'm getting more and more confused these days. And even though i've gotten back with my ex boyfriend, but i just don't feel the same as before. Ok...i know it has always been my wish whether in dreams or whatever ever since we broke up that we would get back together again but yesterday, after we DID get back together, i thought i'd be ecstatic to the max but it seems not.
He was...well,...not my first but my TRUE LOVE which i loved with all my heart and soul and i swear i could've done anything for him if he ever asked though of cos he did not. So when we broke up, days were like hell to me and i just didn't think i believe in true love anymore. I mean...he was the one guy who changed my view on relationships and all so...yeah. And after a while of going into that terrible i-don't-wanna-see-anyone-in-this-world state, i pretty much decided that maybe...just maybe...instead of sitting there all day getting more and more emotional about it, i should start doing something to move on and get over it like what all my friends say. But i didn't know what to do so i got myself into more relationships thinking i'll get over him. But the thing was, with each new relationship, the feeling just got worst and i got more and more confused. And it never felt the same as i was with him.
So now that my dream has come true and that we're back together, i should be feeling awesome! Like i was on cloud 9 or something right? But thats not how i feel at all. Nothing seems to make sense anymore. And i don't even know who to turn to anymore cause my parents...well...i don't wanna talk about them.
I just hope God would be merciful enough to show me some path out of this shit that i'm in.
My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do But have one last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time Stop living a lie I guess I’m down to my last cry
Cry......
I was here, you were there Guess we never could agree While the sun shines on you I need some love to rain on me Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do But have one last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time Stop living a lie I know I gotta be strong Cause round me life goes on and on and on And on.....
I’m gonna dry my eyes Right after I had my One last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time Been living a lie I guess I’m down I guess I’m down I guess I’m down... To my last cry...
If only studies were as easy as everyone made it seem....
If only i knew when and what to say at the right moment...
If only i knew for sure...
If only i could you were here like u once were...
I hope i'll do really well to go poly...or should i go jc? oh my god! I think i'm spending too much time online these days..and exams is just on monday! how am i suppose to do well if i continue to do this?
If someone whom u've barely talk to much less met more then a few times... and sms u one night and ask u some random stuff.. and wishes u valentines day.... and for no reason at aall ask if u're in school and..... is this infatuation?
This is gonna be another hectic year for me again! Suddenly wish i had gone ite instead of choosing to come back to take my O levels! What with remedials to attend almost everyday and mountains of homework to do everyday, my life is turning into a total nightmare. the same routine goes all over again. but not like i would attend all of the remedial sessions so yeah...
Anyway, the latest news is that i went for some stupid companies job interview at hilton hotel like.....last week or so. This guy told me on the phone that it was a nyse company or something looking fro part time to full time paying $500-$2000 per month. regarless of whether u're working the whole week or just once a week. well, but the truth is only up to this point cause that company was not nyse! had to lie to my mum and tell her i was going to study so i could go for the damn interview! well, not like it turn out a total disaster or anything.....in fact, it turn out pretty good. just that i hate the part that i had to lie to my mum to go the interview.
anyway, i definitely hate the fact that i just broke my 1st new year resolution. i'm not gonna say what it is here but those of you whom i've told would know.
So while i'm doing my best to study hard and concentrate on my studies so i could pass my O levels, i'm also trying my best to forget about...........what i should never have gotten myself into in the first place. but the thing is, there are some things in this world where even if you try to stop it, it'll still happen. its something uncontrollable. beyond your limitations.....if you guys know what i mean =)
But u see, that was like the third time i meet him and he still remember what i told him the first time we met! and that friend of his had already forgotten who the hell i am! Ridiculous!
Anyway, thats a small bit about whats been happening in my damn life for the start of this year! Honestly speaking, i do not think this year is gonna be any different from any past years....nothing much or interesting can happen u know. so my life is gonna continue on its due course.
And school sucks my life out like hell man! Its boring, boring and boring. Nothing seems to have changed, well not that i did expect anything to u know....considering the fact that....alright. nv mind. Life just seem so stagnent and unteresting now. I wish O levls would come sooner than i know. so i could finish my O level exams and go poly! =) Mannnn! I'm so looking forward to go poly!
Stupid damn o level exam! i wish our load of homework isn't that much man! i really hate o levels and anything that cdomes with it! anyway, i've gotta go meet some stupid guy kevin today to go 4 some job interview he recommended me. paying pretty good money.
yea well, i know i shouldn't be looking for a jo this year and its nt like i need the money or anything but...well, seeing my mum work so hard to earn money and me doing nothing and always asking money from her make me feel so bad. its kinda like a sin!
anyway, i didn't know i could pass my n level man! i was so surprised when my form teacher told me that i pass that i didn't know what to say. no one thought i would pass anyway. considering the fact that i wasn't even studying that much bf the exams. to quote it, it was really last minute study.
and my mum got hospitalised like few days ago. which was really bad. and i missed her like hell. the house was so damn quite without her. but shes back nw and yeah!! everythings back to normal!=)=)=)
so yeah! i'm gonna study real hard this year and make sure i pass myn o level and surprise everyone and myself. so yeah!=)
My life is currently going pretty well for me. As you guys know...i'm a super cheerful person by nature. Well yeah thats as long as no one pisses me off. haha. Anyway to sum up my life....these are some of the things that happened to me a few weeks ago. You see...i got kicked out of my part time job at marks and spencer. That asshole of a manager Dorothy actually scolded me and told me off in front of everyone. Hell to her! I was doing my work pretty well from what she told me and she told me i spoke well too so i don't see whats there for her to nag at me abt. Anyway, i'm happy i'm outta there. That place stinks if you ask me. Christina lee lee leng has been reeeeeeallllllllllllllly busy these few months ppl. And thats whats keeping happy. And it seems that i'm making a lot of new friends and theres this filipino guy that i met thats hot to the core. Hes currently studying and working part time too! Nice.
But i'm so worried i'll fail my exams. So worried. I really hope i pass well enough to go JC. Cause i wanna be a surgeon when i grow up. Thats MY ambition. It doesn't matter what anyone says. I don't give a damn anyway cause it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. Its still a dream anyway and its good to have a dream no matter what whether or not i'll be able to achieve it one day. Its better to have a dream something to push me on and to give me determination rather then to hang around aimlessly like some losers who're just doing what everyone else is doing. And trying to degrade anyone who has an ambition! Stupid asshole!
Anyway....heres cheers to life and i'm reallllllly enjoying my life at the moment ppl. Life has never been better then this. Cheers! And good luck to those taking their O-levels. YEAH!
Haven't been blogging for so long but...i just feel like doing it tonight. Because i'm feeling extremely down. I mean...things are going pretty alright (i hope) in my life. But..it just dawned on me tonight that...in the mist of life and friends, i'm starting to become a stranger to myself. Working in a hostel, getting to know a lot more people different people i mean..out there's pretty cool and all if u know what i mean. But..i don't know. I just don't know..I'm getting more and more confused these days. And even though i've gotten back with my ex boyfriend, but i just don't feel the same as before. Ok...i know it has always been my wish whether in dreams or whatever ever since we broke up that we would get back together again but yesterday, after we DID get back together, i thought i'd be ecstatic to the max but it seems not.
He was...well,...not my first but my TRUE LOVE which i loved with all my heart and soul and i swear i could've done anything for him if he ever asked though of cos he did not. So when we broke up, days were like hell to me and i just didn't think i believe in true love anymore. I mean...he was the one guy who changed my view on relationships and all so...yeah. And after a while of going into that terrible i-don't-wanna-see-anyone-in-this-world state, i pretty much decided that maybe...just maybe...instead of sitting there all day getting more and more emotional about it, i should start doing something to move on and get over it like what all my friends say. But i didn't know what to do so i got myself into more relationships thinking i'll get over him. But the thing was, with each new relationship, the feeling just got worst and i got more and more confused. And it never felt the same as i was with him.
So now that my dream has come true and that we're back together, i should be feeling awesome! Like i was on cloud 9 or something right? But thats not how i feel at all. Nothing seems to make sense anymore. And i don't even know who to turn to anymore cause my parents...well...i don't wanna talk about them.
I just hope God would be merciful enough to show me some path out of this shit that i'm in.
My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do But have one last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time Stop living a lie I guess I’m down to my last cry
Cry......
I was here, you were there Guess we never could agree While the sun shines on you I need some love to rain on me Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do But have one last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time Stop living a lie I know I gotta be strong Cause round me life goes on and on and on And on.....
I’m gonna dry my eyes Right after I had my One last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time Been living a lie I guess I’m down I guess I’m down I guess I’m down... To my last cry...
If only studies were as easy as everyone made it seem....
If only i knew when and what to say at the right moment...
If only i knew for sure...
If only i could you were here like u once were...
I hope i'll do really well to go poly...or should i go jc? oh my god! I think i'm spending too much time online these days..and exams is just on monday! how am i suppose to do well if i continue to do this?
If someone whom u've barely talk to much less met more then a few times... and sms u one night and ask u some random stuff.. and wishes u valentines day.... and for no reason at aall ask if u're in school and..... is this infatuation?
This is gonna be another hectic year for me again! Suddenly wish i had gone ite instead of choosing to come back to take my O levels! What with remedials to attend almost everyday and mountains of homework to do everyday, my life is turning into a total nightmare. the same routine goes all over again. but not like i would attend all of the remedial sessions so yeah...
Anyway, the latest news is that i went for some stupid companies job interview at hilton hotel like.....last week or so. This guy told me on the phone that it was a nyse company or something looking fro part time to full time paying $500-$2000 per month. regarless of whether u're working the whole week or just once a week. well, but the truth is only up to this point cause that company was not nyse! had to lie to my mum and tell her i was going to study so i could go for the damn interview! well, not like it turn out a total disaster or anything.....in fact, it turn out pretty good. just that i hate the part that i had to lie to my mum to go the interview.
anyway, i definitely hate the fact that i just broke my 1st new year resolution. i'm not gonna say what it is here but those of you whom i've told would know.
So while i'm doing my best to study hard and concentrate on my studies so i could pass my O levels, i'm also trying my best to forget about...........what i should never have gotten myself into in the first place. but the thing is, there are some things in this world where even if you try to stop it, it'll still happen. its something uncontrollable. beyond your limitations.....if you guys know what i mean =)
But u see, that was like the third time i meet him and he still remember what i told him the first time we met! and that friend of his had already forgotten who the hell i am! Ridiculous!
Anyway, thats a small bit about whats been happening in my damn life for the start of this year! Honestly speaking, i do not think this year is gonna be any different from any past years....nothing much or interesting can happen u know. so my life is gonna continue on its due course.
And school sucks my life out like hell man! Its boring, boring and boring. Nothing seems to have changed, well not that i did expect anything to u know....considering the fact that....alright. nv mind. Life just seem so stagnent and unteresting now. I wish O levls would come sooner than i know. so i could finish my O level exams and go poly! =) Mannnn! I'm so looking forward to go poly!
Stupid damn o level exam! i wish our load of homework isn't that much man! i really hate o levels and anything that cdomes with it! anyway, i've gotta go meet some stupid guy kevin today to go 4 some job interview he recommended me. paying pretty good money.
yea well, i know i shouldn't be looking for a jo this year and its nt like i need the money or anything but...well, seeing my mum work so hard to earn money and me doing nothing and always asking money from her make me feel so bad. its kinda like a sin!
anyway, i didn't know i could pass my n level man! i was so surprised when my form teacher told me that i pass that i didn't know what to say. no one thought i would pass anyway. considering the fact that i wasn't even studying that much bf the exams. to quote it, it was really last minute study.
and my mum got hospitalised like few days ago. which was really bad. and i missed her like hell. the house was so damn quite without her. but shes back nw and yeah!! everythings back to normal!=)=)=)
so yeah! i'm gonna study real hard this year and make sure i pass myn o level and surprise everyone and myself. so yeah!=)
My life is currently going pretty well for me. As you guys know...i'm a super cheerful person by nature. Well yeah thats as long as no one pisses me off. haha. Anyway to sum up my life....these are some of the things that happened to me a few weeks ago. You see...i got kicked out of my part time job at marks and spencer. That asshole of a manager Dorothy actually scolded me and told me off in front of everyone. Hell to her! I was doing my work pretty well from what she told me and she told me i spoke well too so i don't see whats there for her to nag at me abt. Anyway, i'm happy i'm outta there. That place stinks if you ask me. Christina lee lee leng has been reeeeeeallllllllllllllly busy these few months ppl. And thats whats keeping happy. And it seems that i'm making a lot of new friends and theres this filipino guy that i met thats hot to the core. Hes currently studying and working part time too! Nice.
But i'm so worried i'll fail my exams. So worried. I really hope i pass well enough to go JC. Cause i wanna be a surgeon when i grow up. Thats MY ambition. It doesn't matter what anyone says. I don't give a damn anyway cause it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. Its still a dream anyway and its good to have a dream no matter what whether or not i'll be able to achieve it one day. Its better to have a dream something to push me on and to give me determination rather then to hang around aimlessly like some losers who're just doing what everyone else is doing. And trying to degrade anyone who has an ambition! Stupid asshole!
Anyway....heres cheers to life and i'm reallllllly enjoying my life at the moment ppl. Life has never been better then this. Cheers! And good luck to those taking their O-levels. YEAH!
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My wish list갈망
img src="http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z53/mggjiang/bullet.gif" border="0" alt=""> ` Go colledge
` Study overseas at
Prinston university
` Become Doctor,Lawyer... ` Buy a big house for my mum ` Save as many animals in this world ` Travel all round the world ` Try out all the diff. kinds of in this world ` Buy a red sports car ` Go to the highest mountain in world to STARGAZE!!! ` Tell my mum how much i luv her ` Fill up my whole wardrobe with everything that i like ` Have fun all my life.....
Sweet temptations~갈망
` White chocolate ` Stargazing ` Good grades Piggs(they're cute) Singing Dancing talking and talking about nothings have fun every minute,every second of my life Loves Animals Smiling and laughing like crazy Make new friends Doing crazy things..just for fun
Time to move on?
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` Study overseas at
Prinston university
Time to move on?
Designer: Josephinex33♥
